The Thing About Tilly by G. Benson

Author:G. Benson [Benson, G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Queer, Friendship, love, pansexual, Pregnancy, Australia, wlw
Published: 2020-12-15T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty

Tilly

New Year’s Day, like Christmas, should be like any other day. But for Tilly, the first of January was always full of something fresh. She woke up with the taste of opportunity on her tongue. As if things really were different, or at least as if the perspective had shifted, even a little. It was farfetched, she knew. Nothing had changed in the few hours before and after midnight.

Yet still, she liked the idea of New Year’s. She wandered along the beach, sand kicking up and sticking to her legs as she occasionally meandered into the cool water before returning to the drier sand. The breeze that came in was gentle, offering the slightest bit of relief to the heat that had been persistent all day.

She missed the rain. The cool. Summer was always great for about a week and then she missed the change of autumn. The trees lining the street of her childhood home had flamed orange in autumn—something not as common in Australia as other places. The colour was incredible. Her school had only tea trees and eucalyptus trees. No flaming orange and red and yellow there.

Thinking of that street, her school, and where she’d grown up was a dangerous road and she stopped, wrapping her arms around her middle and staring out at the ocean. It was dead calm, the tiny little waves barely making a ripple in the water. Out on a rock, a seal was lazing in the sun. A nearby family was standing, their little boy lifted in one of the parents’ arms as they pointed, trying to get him to notice the seal. His pudgy little hand pointed too, his whole face lighting up when he saw it. He gave a peal of laughter.

Tilly was smiling gently before she’d even realised she was doing it.

Guilt trampled through her and she shook her head, turning to walk back up the beach and to the car park so she could call an Uber.

Today was not a day for dark thoughts. It was a day for new beginnings.

She’d given Evie some space. She’d seen Sean a few days ago and they’d avoided talking about anything serious and instead, he’d bought her lunch and then they’d gone to see a film, and it felt like a day back at uni, when things were a little more carefree. Except Evie was missing.

They didn’t talk about Evie, though.

However, now it was New Year’s Day. A new year.

She was going to go and see Evie. They couldn’t stay like this. Everything Evie felt was legitimate, but Tilly was still here, and she wasn’t going to go anywhere.

She’d prove that to Evie. Somehow.

But she wasn’t going to prove it by staying away.

Tilly had done a lot of assuming how Evie would feel or felt or was going to feel. And that wasn’t fair. That realisation on her way back after the rainy pub night, and the desire to finally tell Evie how she felt, hadn’t gone anywhere. Yet there Tilly had been, about to leave again, thinking it would make this easier for Evie.

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